I'm only blogging about this because I've had requests from all of you (ok, well, just my mom and my friend Tasha--but I'm sure they are just a sampling of the greater population that reads this blog and my masses of fans have been up all night wondering:
What DID Miss Teacher think of the popcorn cake?
As I'm driving to the school, I have this my vision for the response I was going to receive (come on folks jump on board with me, it's friday):
As I walk into the school, I notice...Could it be? For me? The red carpet and crowds standing alongside, applauding, cheering, holding out paper for autographs, requests for more cakes for birthdays, bar mitzvahs, and baptisms.
"Thank you, Thank you", I say. "It wasn't my best work, but I'm happy with the level of authenticity I achieved with the marshmallows as popcorn"
And at the end of the red carpet, I see Miss Teacher, tears of joy in her eyes: "I have NEVER, EVER, have received a more beautiful cake in my life. My birthday is now complete. Grant will have my undivided attention for the rest of the school year. He will be the line leader, the light switch helper and the lunch buddy for the remainder of the year" And I see Grant, with a big smile on his face. "Thank you mommy: Miss Teacher gave me a star today"
Fade into reality as I pull into the parking lot.
Here's how it REALLY went down:
I walk into school and the director and the secretaries comment how lovely the cake was.
Walk (somewhat quickly, there's excitement in my step) to room 3B and ....
.....to my HORROR I see the cake STILL FULLY intact.
No time for inner monologue; I ask/shout:"YOU DIDN"T EAT THE CAKE?"
Miss Teacher: "I want to bring it home to show my roommate. Thank you"
Inner monologue: "That's it? Thank you? Do you EVEN KNOW HOW FREAKIN LONG it took to put those marshmallows on there?
Inner monologue continues "And do you SEE my red hands? The are burnt from the melted chocolate-thin-plastic-bottle fiasco. Thank you? That's all I get?"
I quiet my mind and outwardly point out: "These are REAL movie tickets on the here... (I realize the moment the words exit my mouth that I'm making them out to be FRONT row seats to some sold out premier instead of two-for-one Costco Regal tickets)....but I quickly finish...." so don't throw them away"
Miss Teacher: "I know"
Then, I look around for Grant. He's not by the computer station; Not by puzzles
Me to Miss Teacher: "Where's Grant"
Miss Teacher: "He's under the table hiding".