Simon says....The Gaylords "cleaned house"

ok, ok, ok...so based on my late night status update on Saturday night and the comments from my fellow facebookers, it seems evident that I need  to explain my status a bit more... for those of you not on facebook, here's what it said,

"The Gaylords' cleaned house tonight...and I"m not talking the steam cleaning kind of "cleaned".

Some of you thought, "wow, that's TMI, Michelle"
Get you head out of the gutters friends!!!
Here's the events of the night:


About 2 months ago, we were invited to our realtor, Sam's holiday party at the RB Country Club for drinks and appetizers.  Brent was a bit skeptical, thinking that we wouldn't know anyone there...how fun could THAT be?

Me, on the otherhand, always enjoys a good par-tay...
..I mean, who doesn't love free drinks and appetizers??
..and seeing as we have not achieved, "Country Club level status", I wanted to see the Rancho Bernardo Country Club....whose golf course is behind our house..

And, on top of this, the event benefited Toys for Tots...
Win.Win.Win.     in my book.
Booked babysitter.
Got dressed up.
DROVE the 200 feet to the Country Club of Rancho Bernardo (it was cold folks)

We were the first ones there and Brent was rolling his eyes at me telling me that we should "drive around for a bit and we shouldn't be the first ones inside.

I made him park the car.
We went in, dropped off the Candyland game into the bin and received our drink tickets and our tickets for the raffle and noticed there was a DJ.

Inner monologue: There are prizes AND dancing?? Love this party already

Soon the place filled up with about 50 people and we began socializing
Mr. DJ to crowd: "Ok ladies, I need everyone up here for a game"

Inner monolgue: I haven't had enough wine to get up in front of 50 of my closest friends let alone, all of these strangers who obviously all knew each other. Hell No I'm not getting up there.

Brent to me: " Go, just go up there, you'll be the only one..just do it"

So I slowly walk up to the dance floor, trying my best to hide behind the gal next to me.

Inner monologue: "I know how these DJ's work, we are going to have to do something embarrassing..where's my wine?"

Mr. DJ to 30 ladies on stage: "Ok ladies, you all know how to play Simon says, right?"

Inner monolgue: shit.shit.shit. This IS going to be embarrassing. I should just screw up right away

However, my competitive nature got the best of me and the next thing I know, there's only 10 girls left, ...including me

Then 7....
then 5....
now 3.....
down to the last 2..

...I look to the pretty girl next to me and we introduce ourselves and shake hands...


Mr. DJ speaking like he's an auctioneer sputters out  about 100 mph: "Simon says, put your hands on your head, simon says, eyes...simon says knees, simon says ears....lips"

..and there I was, with my hands still on my ears and I look to Mary who has hers on her lips.

Inner monolouge: "I win!! YES!"
Mary says "good job, congrats" and she walks back to her table

I'm on stage alone. Starting to feel like I'm running a fever.

Just as I start making my way back to Brent (who, is sitting drinking his cocktail with a somewhat proud look on his face).. Sam comes to the microphone to hand me my prize.

"Michelle, due to your fine Simon says skills, you've received a gift certificate for a cut and color from Ms. Sylist at Blush Salon in Poway."

Seeing as I dye my own hair due to how freakin' $$$ it is these days to have it done in a salon, I was happy.

Check that.
Totally.Freakin.Stoked.



Part II:  The Raffle

And I'll just get to the point on this one: my ticket was picked for 2 Spray Tans at Urban Sun . Now, I'm not into spray tanning, so I gifted this one to my cousin Jackie later that evening.
Jackie.Totally.Stoked

.... I was kind of impressed that I had won two prizes already.


Part III  Almost time to go home

We were supposed to be meeting my cousin and her boyfriend at  The Rancho Bernardo Inn for drinks, which is located next to the Country Club...it's getting late and they were already there waiting for us...but I felt kind of bad leaving the party early...

...I mean, I didn't want to just take my prizes and run after all...
..and plus, Brent's ticket was still left for the GRAND prize...

...but really, how lucky COULD we be that night?

So, I'm not really paying attention to what's going on around me..I'm busy talking to my new Chardonnay-induced BFF, Shayne

   Side note: She was born and raised in Santa Barbara and we sat down next to each other at the table and we were both wearing the SAME Stella and Dot Petra bracelet. This one:

..Then I hear it:  Sam on the microphone saying, "Wow, The Gaylords really cleaned house this evening"...
I stop talking and realize that Brent's ticket was drawn for the grand prize:

Blog.Drum.Roll

4 Tickets To the Happiest Place on Earth!!! That's right folks, a family 4 pack to  Disneyland!

I could hardly believe my ears. And, in fact, I think I may have done a little jumping up and down at that point

Brent tells me to go up there and get the tickets....not hesitating, I run up the stage and thank Sam

Me to Sam: "Thank you so much, but I feel bad that we won so many of your prizes.."

Inner monologue: "Not really, I'm totally stoked about all of the prizes because we never win anything, but I just it was appropriate to say that" 

Soooo......does that clear it up for all of you?  We "cleaned house"....we cleaned them out of the prizes that they had that night....

Lessons learned:

1)Getting to a party before anyone else arrives allows you drink the better wine at the tables before having to use your drink tickets for the less stellar wine at the bar.

2)Getting to a party where there is raffle tickets MAY influence your chances of having BOTH of your tickets selected.

3) Playing all of those "dumb" games with your children may actually come in handy some day.

4) "Cleaning house" apparently has some other "R-rated" connotation that I was NOT aware of at midnight or so when I posted that status.

LOL. Pour Wine...Simon Says.

Doctor-ing "Green Balls"

I'm a scientist. Not a doctor- per se.

But specifically, I am NOT a medical doctor..nor a PhD..

.....and don't EVEN get me started about how I was once told by a college mentor:

 "if you don't have your PhD than no one will respect you".

Please.

Side note: If someone isn't going to respect me because I don't have a few letters after my name, than I don't really want to know that person anyways.

Go.To.Hell

...'Nuff about that.

..but the "doctoring" I like to do is to food.

Think: Sandra.Lee.

Think: Working-Full-Time-Mom

Think: Need -fast- dinner- so my 2 kids under 4 aren't in the pantry "just looking" for snacks IMMEDIATELY after pulling at each other's hair and screaming for 10 minutes straight upon entering the house.

And...I'm NOT a short order cook. Kids eat what we eat.

Period.

Or they go to bed hungry.

Inner monologue: "waa-haaa- haa" in scary voice.

and I want it to be tasty and healthy.

Am I asking too much?

Pour wine and begin to scour refrigerator for ingredients.

Ah ha! Chicken Tenders!

Open Pantry.

Isreali Couscous!

Brilliant!

Now for the recipe.

And by recipe, I do mean "Last Minute Concoction"

And, I mostly do not measure.

Get.over.it.

I'm not baking, I'm cooking.

So here it is, my

 "Michelle's Let's-Call- It- Tuscan Chicken with Basil-Herb Isreali Couscous" Recipe  Concoction

Ingredients:

For the chicken:

Chicken Tenders (HATE.CHICKEN.BREASTS. = Too big= only good for soups, according to me.

Egg wash (for non cooks, this means crack the eggs and then lightly mix up the egg in a bowl that you can dip the chicken tenders in)

Italian breadcrumbs supplemented with Parm cheese--

For the sauce:

Yellow Onion, sliced.

Cherry Tomatoes---a lot of them---sliced in half

minced garlic--2 cloves?

1 cup? chicken Broth

2 tablespoons butter. BUTTER.

Fresh basil "chiffonade" (this means chop up the basil, people)

Step 1: Bread Chicken Tenders by dipping first in egg wash then in Italian Bread Crumbs that have been supplemented with Parm cheese and more basil chiffonade.

           

Step 2: Heat Olive Oil in Pan and brown chicken on both sides---not cooking all the way--just to soak up  the yummy olive oil and secure the breading on the chicken.  Maybe 2 minutes per side? Place browned chicken into a olive oil sprayed pan into a 350 degree pre-heated oven to begin cooking.

Step 3: Thinly slice yellow sweet onion and cook in olive oil until tender. Add half-ed sweet cherry tomatoes and cook until they "burst"...add and some minced garlic (don't want to overcook garlic = bitter!!) Add chicken broth and bring to a boil.

Step 3b: Once some of the liquid has boiled off and it's a little thicker, add the BUTTER and allow to melt.

Do.it. 

Add the Butter. Don't be scared. It's 2 tablespoons in the WHOLE sauce.

Step 4: Take Chicken (which has been cooking for approx 10 minutes) and add sauce to top of chicken.

Back into the Oven it goes! --for about another 10 minutes

Step 5: Add basil to to top of the chicken when done cooking

Serve with:

Pearled Basil-Herb Isreali Couscous


Isreali Couscous is not the typical couscous you are thinking of.
It's more like little pasta balls.
And this recipe, due to the basil, of course, my kids call it "green balls"

Choose whichever name you'd prefer:  In the Gaylord household, We call it "Green Balls" 

Ready for the recipe? 

You are going to LOVE this:

Step 1: Buy the box. Follow Directions

Step 2: Add a bunch of Parm Cheese to make it more of a Risotto...or not..whichever you'd like

Step 3: Add more basil chiffonade
Step 4: Add roasted garlic (oops, forgot to tell you to roast a WHOLE ear of garlic in olive oil for until it's soft in your oven at 350--then add a few cloves...)

Now, in the Craziness that IS my every night,...

...I did not take a photo.

However, I took a photo this morning of the leftovers (one chicken tender and a bunch of couscous because we tripled the recipe (i.e. cooked 3 boxes)

Disclaimer: Iphone photo at 4:30 am and only 1 chicken tender left because:

We ate chicken and green balls.

We shared with Kathleen and Jack...who THOUGHT he wouldn't like the green balls, but LOVED it.

We brought 3 tenders and couscous over to Ms. Doris who is on Hospice and her husband companion, Mr. Don.

It was DELICIOUS.
Make it.

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall.."

After the first night, I decided SOMETHING had to be done for the 2nd day of parties.


Something must be done to correct the lameness of my costume.


Perhaps The Queen of Hearts needed:
Some sparkle.
Some bling.
A new look, if you will.


I began the transformation while Gwen was asleep


Step 1: Tape costume 4 inches so it actually fits around my waist....give up trying to make myself look bustier on the top....WASTE.OF.TIME.


Step 2: Add some gold glitter eye shadow,red lipstick, red and white heart on cheek, and dig WAY WAY deep in my cosmetic bag for some semblance of mascara and apply heavily (easy to do since the last time I actually wore mascara was a year ago and the thing is really dried out)


Step 3: Discovered to my surprise, the red wig that I wore at my bachelorette party in downtown Santa Barbara 5 years ago and determine it is the PERFECT accessory for my costume


Inner monologue upon looking in the mirror: "Not bad, Not bad if I DO say so myself"


Feeling confident (a bit overconfident perhaps?) in my re-working of the Queen of Hearts, I get Gwen ready for our neighbor Kerry's party and await The King's arrival with Bumblebee from Saturday's 1st party.


Meanwhile our neighbor Jack came over to show us his costume...he was a morph guy...hot costume this year, apparently all other colors were sold out except this white one.  Here's a photo of he and my little Elmo:

Me to Jack: "What do you think of my costume?"


Jack to Me: "Mrs. Gaylord, are you the Wendy's girl from that restaurant?"


Blank Stare. Nothing to say.


ALL.CONFIDENCE.CRUSHED


Inner monologue: "What?? The Wendy's girl!??!  No way!"


I run down the hallway to Jackie's room, which has the only full length mirror in the house and what I expected to see was this:

But the reality was, I saw this:

Sigh. 

No longer feeling confident of the re-vamping of the costume, I decided to put on my best smile and take a photo with my little Elmo.  She told me she "liked my shiny hair" and in reality, that's all that mattered

What did Brent think? 


Brent and said it  did perhaps resemble the "Queen of French-Fries"


As I looked into the mirror again I'm sure Brent could sense that I was becoming insecure about my costume......He stood next to me and looked into the mirror and said, "don't worry, I look more like: 

.....than a king"

Belly.Laugh.Together.

What could I say to that?

Me to Brent: "Mirrors never lie, I guess!! "

..and off we went to the party across the street: Bumblebee, Elmo, Wendy and The Pope.