Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Pizza, Bumpers and Ree-Ree

Last weekend we were invited over my cousin Sandra's house for drinks and dinner.

Her mother and father (Dorothy and Roger) had been in town visiting from Ohio and this was our last chance to see them before they returned to the good '
'ole Buckeye State

Let me set the stage for you:

We pull into the driveway 

Side note: I'm writing with italics so you pay attention because it becomes relavent later

We enter Sandra and Bryan's lovely home and the first thing I see as I enter her GORGEOUS kitchen is this adorable

 chef pig statue

Something like this:


His chubby hoofs are holding a chalkboard sign with the glorious words of the dinner theme for the evening.

"Pizza Party!" as he smiles

Along side him is large tub chilling down the vino for the night 

Pizza! Wine! Family! 

and....drumroll...........Grant and Gwen were immediately drawn to Sandra's daughters who proceeded to play with them all night.

Pizza! Wine! Family! Kid-free conversation!

Bring it!!

Sandra's brother, who's affectionately known as "Little Roger" even though he's probably at least 7 feet tall arrives a bit later. 

The pizza's Sandra made were FANTASTIC.

In fact, I'm totally copying her idea for an upcoming dinner party and I promise I will provide the recipes in an upcoming's just not the point of this post.

The first pizza was a Roasted Rosemary Potato and Apple Pizza with Brie Cheese.
HOLY MOLY  this was good.

Next: a wild mushroom pizza followed by a cheese pizza, and then a deep dish meat pizza.

and of course we are all laughing, drinking wine, and telling stories.

And then....

Morgan is leaving for party and we are parked behind her in the driveway.
Brent runs out to move our car.

   Side note: I WAS noticing that it took him a while to return...

He enters the room with this kind of look on his face:

Somewhere between:


and proceeds to ask Little Roger, "Is that your car with the Arizona plates?"

Inner Monologue: Oh shit...., NO..... PLEASE!!!!!!!

and then he proceeds to explain how he didn't see Little Roger's car and hit the bumper.

I pour wine and then go outside with Brent to assess the damage, which, I was THINKING-HOPING-PRAYING was .....

...a little scratch...a little dent...a little SOMETHING.

But No.

The thing looked like a wing on a bird. 

How this did NO DAMAGE to our car, is amazing. Only "good" thing about having a gas-sucking SUV monster of a car.

Little Roger didn't even go out to look at his car. I believe he just poured more wine too.  Everyone was so kind and explained how they've "all done that before" but Brent and I both were beyond embarrassed for the rest of the night.

It gets better.

Gwen, decides to go and put on her own pull up because she has to poop.
She hides for a while and then says, "I'm all done" and continues to insist, "Come change me, mom"

Truthfully, I was for once GRATEFUL to Gwen for still shitting her diapers so I could get out of the embarrassment of the situation for a few minutes.

I lay her down in Sandra's bathroom...on this pretty deep maroon throw rug....and rip down the side of her pull-up..

Inner Monologue: Dear God, NO WAY! Can't I get a freakin break????

She had, what we like to refer to as "Ree-Ree"....and a BAD CASE OF IT.

And, since I had ripped her pull up haste-fully, Ree-Ree had made it's way down to the deep maroon throw rug.

Not only had we proceeded to splay out Little Roger's bumper, but now, I had to tell Sandra that Gwen had shit on her rug.

I carefully rolled up the rug and mentioned to Sandra that I thought she'd better throw the rug in her NEW washer (FIGURES it was new, right?).

Pour wine.

It gets even better.

The next day, I send Sandra a message thanking her for the evening, apologizing for the events of the night and asking if everyone made it home alright and inquired how the bumper did driving to Arizona.

Her response?

"Everyone made it home fine and the bumper wasn't a problem on the drive back because it fell off"

I couldn't help it, I laughed so hard there were tears running down my face.

1 comment: